He's
Only Mine Part Time
It's a cold rainy morning. Randy and I are just lying in
bed listening to the rain hit the roof. We speak on things like our daughter,
Taliah, and things like her college fund, the mortgage, our business and other
married couple things. Then we get quiet and just listen to the soft music that
fills the room. We have never slept without our Bose System playing throwback
hits by old school artists like Marvin Gaye’s ‘Let’s get it On’ or Prince’s
‘Do Me Baby.’
Just
like every morning, Randy rolls over and cuddles up with me from behind; the hardness of his body presses against the softness of
my backside. My Babe always sleeps naked, so that our morning escapades and
access to my body can be effortless. I grab his strong arms and hold on
thinking about the heart-riveting heat of sex that was about to take place.
Just like every morning, we both need our fix of each other’s body.
He
reaches down and gathers my lacy-silk sex-luring gown into his hands and slowly
pulls it over my head. I always make sure Victoria Secret delivers some exotic,
enticing and tasty body-exhibiting piece by United Parcel Service. I lift my body
to embrace the feeling of his big manly hands and allow the silky cloth to exit
my body over my head.
The
soft lingerie is thrown to the floor and exchanged with the touch of his strong
hand caressing my neck to pull me close to him. The strength of his pull on my
body makes the sound of skin-to-skin contact. We snap together like the piece
and fit of a jigsaw puzzle. His hand slides from my neck to my soft yet huge
supple breasts that he loves so much. He calls them beautiful and the
twins. He squeezes and probes while my nipples eject through his fingers.
My nipples become at attention to yet prove, once again, my eagerness for him
to enter me. The erectness of his huge stamped-approved package on my soft ass
confirms his eagerness to enter me. This foreplay is killing me slowly as he
plays in his playground of softness and voluptuousness of my boobs. His hand
slides again and continues to explore stopping at my hottest spot. His fingers
play inside of me.
I
sigh with pleasure and go into pleasure spasms as the slipperiness of his
fingers show how enticing his touch is to my spot. I need him badly and proof
is within the wetness of the touch of his fingers to my love canal. Involuntary
convulsions kidnap my body. I tremble as he caresses there and moves his
fingers around in all the right pleasure pockets. My eyes water as his fingers
linger in ecstasy land.
Damned
him for teasing me for so long! If he doesn’t enter me soon with the hugeness
of him, I will snatch his well-endowed piece that’s pressing against my ass and
put it where it belongs!
No
sooner than I say that to myself, he grabs my earlobe with his lips and
whispers in my ear. He knows my earlobe is another hot spot and makes me all
the more eager.“Mmm, you feel good. I love making love to you early in the mornings. And I hope you don’t have to pee this time.”
Laughing,
I couldn’t verbally respond to him if I wanted to. I’m so much in bliss that
it’s captured my voice hostage and will not allow me to speak. I can only feel
and the feeling is like paradise. But, he’s right. Constantly is the need to
relieve myself, in the bathroom, during sex. One thing about men is they can
drink beer or alcohol beverages all day and avoid the restroom all night. Once
they get into the bed to sleep, there is no more getting up.
Finally,
he lifts my leg and glides his huge love portion into my longing hotness. It’s
a chemical mix that’s been working fine for years, never broken and never an
infidelity; at least none I know about. Everything is just right. Love
intertwining with love. It’s heated passion that lives on. And it’s a most
welcomed blessing that most couples who are married this long cannot claim.Beatin’ it up is the word of the day. Makin’ it rain’ is what the rappers say. My sugar walls are feelin’ like old school R&B. Gettin’ these draws is what my baby is doing to me. A poundin’ to my body, that doesn’t involve a fight. Beat the pussy up, Baby, ‘cause it’s go be round two, three, and four tonight!
Mmm! As I’m gettin’ hit from behind, my mind is writing some damned poetry that can go into my diary. Shoot! I may even be a lyricist some day. This kind of sex will make a bitch rhyme, cry, scream, shout, testify, and just want to tell the world. A continuous flow to the backside of my body is going down as my babe is pumping in and out of me, gliding in me back and forth and winding it around. Not stopping the flow, he rolls me over to my stomach and onto my knees without missing a beat. This is what’s up, along with me getting on my knees and pushing it back to my Babe. He says no woman has ever pushed it back to him; that’s why the lazy bitches got fired! That’s why I got hired to do the job like its 'spose to be done. That’s why I am here getting the divine pleasure I deserve!
I’m climaxing over and over and over. The screaming is so loud that the next door neighbors might hear me. He doesn’t have to hold my mouth as he usually does, because or daughter, Taliah, is enjoying at a sleepover with friends.
He grabs my tits as he continues poundin’ and hittin’ it doggy style. My Babe is pumping me so hard and fast, that I almost lose my balance. But, I’m right with my babe as he pounds, grinds, digs and gets all that he wants and as long as he wants. He is driving in me so fast that I can no longer throw it back to him, but just stay on my knees receiving it and enjoy it.
“I want you to get yours, Babe, so climb on top of here for your ride,” he whispers.
Didn't he hear me screaming? I got mine over and over and over again.
He rolls over to lie on his back and I climb on for my ride. Holding that beautiful piece in his hand, I moan as I take in all the hugeness receiving it as it forcedly goes inside of me; due to my being so tight. I grab the headboard and get ready for my continuous morning pleasure trip. He says he’s never experienced such a way a woman’s riding him as I do. I've never experienced a man who can do me for hours on end, so I reward him by rolling it, grinding it, pumping it to him fast and as fast as I could bounce on it. My Babe doesn’t have to move if he doesn’t want to because I'm in control. My skills cause him to make loud noises of ecstasy. I could go slow and easy, but I choose hard and fast.
Doing my move called the butterfly, I use my muscles to tighten my walls on his dick and in no time we arrive at ours together. I release the headboard and fall down onto his pumped chest. I kiss his muscular skin on his chest passionately. I am like some wild animal, sucking, biting, licking and secretly leaving passion marks there in case there’s another bitch trespassing. Then, I go up for a wet kiss of his lips, my tongue gliding upward of his body from his chest. Promising him some hot steamy oral sex as dessert for later, I suck up his thick juicy lips into mine.
Rising up from my kiss I spit as I come up with only lint from my pillow. I sputter and look again at the bed. Tears form in my eyes as I realize it was only me in the bed with a fantasy wet dream.
This can’t be true. It was so realistic. My Randy was here. Where is my Randy? Still not believing that he was not here with me, I called out his name.
“Baby, where are you? Randy? Baby, I need you! Please come to me!”
A piercing pain shot through my heart as reality sat in. Then Randy spoke to me. Remember, Baby, although I was taken away from you in that car wreck, I’m still with you. I will always be with you and our daughter.
Even though he was not realistically there and I just heard him in my head. He actually has kept me sane whenever he talked to me. His voice comforted me, but not so much as after that dream. It was so damned real that I got depressed. Good thing our daughter was not home to see me like that. I fell down onto the bed and cried like a baby. I knew I must drag myself out of bed. My whole body felt like lead. It resisted as I stood up to go take my shower. My feet were dragging and none of my limbs wanted to move. Forcing my way through that depression, I managed to get through my shower.
Randy’s matching terry cloth robe hung next to mine. We used our robes at the country club. Our initials embroidered on the outside, we were a do or die couple; always down for each other. I decided to choose Randy’s robe instead of mine, because there was a need for me to feel next to him. I wrapped a towel around my head and slipped on my shower shoes. Not toweling off, Randy’s terrycloth robe soaked up all of the excess water from my body. I couldn’t have dried off if I wanted to because depression had me on lock. So, everything felt like weighted-down steel as I dragged to the kitchen to get my morning coffee.
The coffee machine timer worked well with my lazy weekend schedule. All I had to do was pour a cup and plop down at the table. I looked over at my reliable friend lying on the table top. My faithful diary stared back at me wondering when I will write again. What better time than then? I picked up the pen and thumbed through. Laughing to me at the way my diary has been so confidential, trustworthy and dependable, I took a deep sigh. It held all of my secrets, it couldn’t tell anyone anything like reporting to my gossiping friends, and it’s about time I shared with it again. So, I made a few entries.
Dear Diary, Sept. 12
Sometimes,
I miss him so much; I think I’m going crazy. I try to stay busy running the
company and raising our daughter, Taliah. She is so grown, or at least she
thinks she is. Sometimes I feel she is the adult and I’m the child because I’ve
been crying so much lately over Randy. She seems so strong. Even though she and
her dad were so close, she’s always been so independent and confident. I wonder
if I had this behavior at her tender age of thirteen. I don’t think I had those
traits, because she is really amazing; not that I wasn’t amazing myself in some
ways. But, Taliah’s being so independent is a blessing as well as a curse. It’s
a blessing because she mainly takes care of herself and leaving me time to
concentrate on the business. Funny, I didn’t know anything about marketing and
advertising when I first took over Kyle Advertising, but, I refuse to sell it.
Randy put his all into this business and there was no way I could just let it
go.
So
many said I was crazy to hang onto Kyle Advertising; telling me what I couldn’t
do. But, I showed them that I could keep
the business going; now it’s thriving and we are steadily acquiring new
accounts. Though I got little praise, it wasn’t really the praise that I
wanted. However everyone wants a little gratitude. Really though, knowing
Taliah is happy and taken care of is all I need. I really want that to be
enough, but sometimes I feel so alone. It’s only been a year and a half since
Randy died in that stupid car accident. It’s so unfair that they just let these
Mexicans cross the border; though I have no real problem with them being here.
I even have a few of them working for me. But, driving drunk with no license or
insurance is showing no consideration for their lives or the lives of others.
I
can’t dwell on it and hold hate in my heart for what happened. I have to move
on. I have to be strong for Taliah. She doesn’t have her father so she needs
her mother. Sometimes I feel as though I haven’t had adequate time to even
grieve. My whole life turned upside down over night; suddenly going from a
woman that only worried about what to wear, where to eat, what time I had to
meet my friends at the Country Club, to a business women, and soul provider for
my daughter. I’ve accomplished so much in this short little time. I’m so proud
of myself. I’m even dealing well with being a single parent.
Sometimes
though, I just get so lonely. But, I can’t just bring a man, any man, into our
home or into our lives. I know my daughter isn’t ready, but I miss the comfort
of a man. I miss the security. I think,
most of all, I miss being held and made love to. I miss being close to someone.
I miss the intimacy that Randy and I shared. I don’t know if I will ever love
again the way I loved him. But I know in my heart that I do want to love again.Tomorrow I start interviewing for someone to help me manage the company, and it’s been a long time coming. I knew I needed to hire someone right away. Randy was in the process of doing that before he passed. I didn’t want to do it right when I took over, because there was so much I needed to learn myself. At the time, I knew I couldn’t train someone what to do if I didn’t know really what to do myself. Now that it’s getting to be too much for me to handle, I need someone to help me run the company. Plus, I want to spend more time at home with Taliah.
If I hire someone dependable, I won’t have to work so hard. I just hate the interviewing and hiring process. So many people need jobs, I just hate turning so many people down. I know how it feels to be unemployed, but I can only pick the right person for the job. Sometimes it’s so hard finding the right person. That’s it for this morning, Dear Diary. I guess Tracy, my ex therapist, was right. Starting a diary again does give me release! I haven’t had a diary since high school. It kind of feels good, though, sharing my inner thoughts with someone who can’t talk back or criticize me.
At the office of Kyle Advertising
I had been interviewing all morning and it seemed like this process would take forever.
Damned, I can’t wait till lunch time! I need a cigarette. Let me call Danielle to see if I have someone else waiting, because if I do, they are going to have to wait until I get back in from smoking.
“Danielle, my loving secretary, is there anyone else I have to see?”
“Yes, you have one more before lunch, a Jermaine Rivers.”
“Ok. Well, damned girl, is he here yet?”
“No, he’s not due for another fifteen minutes. His interview isn’t ‘til eleven-fifteen.”
“Alright, well I’m going out to smoke. I’ll be right back in.”
Before I could even sit down, the phone started ringing. I rolled my eyes and picked up the phone.
“Yes, Danielle.”
“Ja’ Lisa, your eleven-fifteen appointment is here.”
“Okay, go ahead and show him in.”
Danielle opened the door and let Mr. Rivers into my office. Busy, picking up a few applications I accidentally tipped them off of my desk to the floor. When I finally looked up, I was mesmerized. Mr. Rivers was so fine! He was six feet one, mocha-brown skin complexion, long sandy-red hair neatly corn rowed down to his neck, kissable brown lips with a killer smile and clean white teeth. I couldn’t help but stare for a moment. Coming back to reality, I offered him a seat.
“Hello Mr. Rivers. I’m Ja’ Lisa Kyle. Please have a seat.”
He looked at me with that killer smile, and then he spoke.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Kyle.”
“Please call me Ja’ Lisa.”
“Alright, Ja’ Lisa.”
Damned he sounds good too! He has the sexiest voice.
Taking his application and resume, I had a thought.
I really hope he’s qualified, because he’s hired!
“I see you have a Master's degree in business and management.”
“Yes, I graduated business school with honors, I might add. I’ve
worked in the marketing and advertising field since I was in high school.”
“Very impressive!”
“Thanks!”
Feeling a throbbing feeling between my legs, I began to get a little moist from the way he smiled at me. I looked away for a moment clearing my throat. I did not want to make it obvious that I was clearly feeling him.
“So, if I consider you for this position are you aware that there is a lot of hard work involved? This isn’t an easy job.”
“I know and I’m up for the challenge.”
Um, I bet you are!
Realizing I was staring at him once again, I caught myself before he realized it.
“So, if hired, when can you start, Mr. Rivers?”
“Please, just call me Jermaine. My father is Mr. Rivers.”
I couldn’t help but giggle when he said that.
“Ok, Jermaine it is.”
“I can start today. Right now, if you need me to.”
I loved his enthusiasm.
“Hmm, though I could really use the help, it’s already Thursday, so how about first thing Monday morning at nine a.m.?”
“Yes, that will be great!” He thought about it for a moment as if he was letting reality sink in. “You mean I’m really hired?”
“Yes, if you want the job. It’s yours.”
Jermaine jumped up, and not being able to hide his excitement, he screamed.
“Should have believed that there!”
I laughed, because I had never heard that saying before.
“Sorry, I do apologize for my outburst. I’m just so happy that you’re giving me this opportunity. Words can’t express how happy and grateful I am right now!”
I was happy and grateful as well. If nothing else, he would be something really delicious and good to look at every morning.
“Are you straight?”
He answered ‘yes.’ Though he still appeared in a state of disbelief, I repeated my earlier statement about ‘it not being an easy job.’
“I’m up for the challenge. You will not be disappointed.”
Watching him lick those sexy brown lips almost set me aflame.
“I'm sure I will not be disappointed. Well, Mr. Rivers, we will see you Monday at nine sharp.”
“Thanks Ja’ Lisa. I will be here on time, and I will not let you down.”
Not even five minutes after he left, Danielle came in.
“Ja’ Lisa, he seemed real happy when he walked passed me.”
“Well he should because he got the job.”
“Oh he did? Well did you hire him because he was the best qualified or is it because he is so fine?”
I looked at her as if she was crazy.
“I hired him because he is qualified for the job. I wouldn’t just hire him because he is fine. Fine doesn’t get the job done. It didn't get you your job did it?”
Although, I knew she was right, I didn’t need her knowing that.
She shook her head and said, “He is though.”
“He’s what?”
“Fine!”
“Yes girl he is that! I have to admit it.”
We both laughed.
“Well, is he married, single or what?”
“Hell, I don’t know. I didn’t ask him all of that. That was not one of the requirements for the job.”
"Well there is one way you can find out and that’s to look at his W-4 form.”
I acted as if I didn’t care about the W-4 or as if I wanted to know the information about Mr. Rivers. But soon as Danielle left my office, I almost broke my back looking for that form. When I found it, I was kind of disappointed at what I saw.
Damn, he is married! And, he has two other dependants which mean he has children. Shit! I should have known! Well I just hired him so I can’t fire him now; especially not for being married. Maybe it’s best that he is married, though. I really don’t need to be trying to get involved with anyone right now, and especially someone working for me.
I looked up at the clock. Realizing it was lunch time, I picked up the phone to buzz Danielle.
“Danielle, I’m going to lunch and since all I had scheduled for today is interviews, I think I’m going to just take the rest of the day off. I might go home and spend some time with my daughter when she gets home from school. You can knock off early too. Just make sure you call the rest of the applicants that we had scheduled for this afternoon. Let them know that the position has been filled. Tell them that their applications will be kept on file for six months just in case something else comes open that they may qualify for.”
“Um hum, will do. So is Mr. Rivers married?”
“Damned Girl, you are so nosey. Yes, Mr. Rivers is married,” I said with a sarcastic attitude.
“I should have known, Ja'Lisa, because all of the good ones are married, gay or in jail.”
I giggled.
“Yes, Girl, that is so true. I will see your crazy ass in the morning.”
“Bye, Ja’ Lisa.”
“Bye, Danielle.”
When I got to the school, I walked into the office. The principal of the school is Mrs. Valerie Thompson. She came out to greet me.
“Hi. How are you doing, Mrs. Kyle?”
They say my last name as if I’m still married, and as if my husband is still alive. I thought about taking my maiden name back, which was Sampson. Yet, I loved my name, which remained Ja’ Lisa Rashawnna Kyle. I've always thought it had a nice ring to it. So, that was the name tagged to stay with me until death. I really didn’t have a thought about ever getting married again. I wanted to fall in love and I wanted to be with someone, but I never wanted to be someone else’s wife. Randy was my first love. He was my first husband and he will be my last. I will never belong to another the way I belonged to him. We were supposed to grow old together. So, I feared growing old alone.
I must have been looking melancholy. I was just lost in my thoughts.
“Mrs. Kyle, are you ok?”
“Yes, I’m sorry my mind was someplace else.”
“Is everything alright? Who did you need to see?”
"Oh, everything is fine. I’m just here to pick up Taliah.”
“May I ask why you are here to pick her up from school so early?”
“Yes. She has a doctor’s appointment. I don’t even think she’s aware of it, because I forgot until the nurse called to remind me.”
Mrs. Thompson always looked so fake and phony when she smiled at me. I knew she didn't like me every since that day we got into it. They tried to rush me into sending Taliah back to school after her father died. It had only been a week and they were calling.
“Mrs. Kyle, Taliah has already missed a whole week of school. Do you think it’s about time she comes back to catch up on her studies? She is missing so much work.”
That bitch was lucky I couldn’t go through the phone.
“Well, hell, her father just died! She misses him an awful lot. I do not feel that she needs to return as of yet. Besides, I’m not sending my child back to school until she is good and ready to go back. You, of all people, should know how traumatic this experience is for me, let alone a thirteen-year-old child!”
“Well, we have concern that she does not get considerably behind in her studies. She is such a bright student.”
“Well, talk to her teachers and ask that they send whatever work necessary to your office and I will come by and pick it up. She can catch up on her work at home just as well. I will even hire someone to help her if I have to, but I am not rushing my daughter back to school while she’s still grieving the loss of her father.”
Click! I hung up the phone in her damned face. I slammed the phone down so hard that I know it hurt her ears. I really didn’t care, and I was in her face the next morning to show her. Oh she was so nice to me. She changed her tune really quickly. All of a sudden, she was so concerned and understanding as to why I was keeping Taliah out of school. The bitch was scared is the reason. She thought I might jump on her and pull that weave off of her head; that’s what it was. So, she’s been fake nice to me every since.
“Just have a seat Mrs. Kyle. We will send someone to retrieve Taliah for you.
Let me check and see what class she has now.”
I broke out with my fake and phony smile just as she had.
“Alright, thank you Mrs. Thompson.”
Knowing she can’t stand me, I went to the waiting area to have a seat. I crossed my legs thinking to myself.
I can’t stand her either, so as far as I’m concerned we can fake it all day. As long as she treats my daughter like somebody we won’t have any more problems.
I know I had been waiting for a good ten minutes. Just as I stood to approach the front desk as to what the hell was taking so long, in walked Taliah.
“Hi Momma, what’s going? Why are you here to get me?”
“You have a doctor’s appointment scheduled for today.”
“A doctor's appointment? I know nothing about that.”
“I know, Sweetie, I had forgotten about it myself. So, come on before we are late.”
When we got out of the building and into the parking lot, I told her the truth.
“Baby, Mommy got off a few hours early and I thought maybe we could have a little mother and daughter time together. You know, go shopping, get those sneakers you’ve been begging for, maybe an outfit or two or get something to eat or go to the movies. It’s been a long time since we’ve done those type things.”
She looked at me with this weary look on her face.
“I know it has, but couldn’t you have waited ‘til I got out of school?”
With a perplexed look on my face, I looked at her.
“Yes, I guess I could have, but why would you want to stay in school? I’ve never seen a child that didn’t want to get out of school early, no matter what the reason.”
“No, I’m happy about it, it’s just that I’m going to miss seeing
“Okay, and who is
“Ma, I told you about him.”
“Oh, you did?”
“Yes, Mother I did.”
“You may have, but you talk about so many little boys these days; not to mention
the fact that you are always on the telephone. I can’t keep up with all the little boys who call the house. Your cell bill is often higher than mine. I told you about using that phone before nine p.m. I really just got the phone for you in case of emergencies anyway.”
“I know, Ma, but everybody’s got to be in bed by nine on school nights.”
“Well, call them on the house phone or have them call you on the house phone.”
I shook my head thinking back to when I was her age.
“You are worse than me when I was your age. The only difference is I had to sneak to use the phone to talk to boys, because if my daddy found out, he would have killed me. I’m not that strict on you. I’d rather trust you than to be that strict. That’s when children act really wild when they have too many reigns on them. A lot of parents don’t understand that when you are too strict on a child, then once they are finally are set free, they will be wild as hell. Then, they’ll do everything they can to rebel against their parents, plus all the shit they wasn’t able to do. All I ask of you is that you don’t have sex ‘til you’re eighteen.”
That started me to thinking.
“You haven’t yet, have you?”
After asking the question, she looked at me like I was a damn fool.
"Haven’t what?”
“Sex! Have you had sex yet?”
“No, mother, I’m not having sex. I haven’t even had my first kiss yet.”
I shook my head. I was really relieved to hear that.
“That’s good you don’t need to be kissing no boys right now.”
“I know Ma, I’m not ready for all that yet.”
“Well when you get ready, please let me know. We’ll have a lot to talk about.”
Stopping at a red light, I looked into her eyes. Since I hadn’t gotten a response in letting me know when she’s ready, I decided to repeat it and make her promise me.
“Promise me that you won’t have sex without talking to me first.”
“I won’t do it, Mother, I promise. Now can we drop the subject?”
I knew she wanted to drop the subject, but I wasn’t ready to drop it yet. I thought about my older sister.
"I just don’t want you to end up like your Aunt Tamara. She had two kids before she turned twenty-one. She had the first one when she was seventeen. And part of that was our dad’s fault. He was strict on both of us, but he was really bad on her. He didn’t allow her to do anything. She got tired of that shit. So, she met this really cute boy and. Keon was his name. He was the neighborhood thug selling drugs amongst other things. He had a lot of money. She got pregnant by him and moved into his apartment. He beat her something awful. He would beat her ass so badly until she finally left him. She decided enough was enough after she became pregnant with her second child. He jumped on her and she left him. I was away at college. Daddy let her move back in and helped her with the kids. Well, really Momma let her back in. She was the one that kept the kids when Tamara went back to school. She got her GED and went to college. Now, all is well, because she has a damn good job. She had it so rough. This is why, I don’t want you to have to go through the things your aunt did by getting pregnant at a young age.”
“Momma, for the last time, I’m not having sex. If that is what you got me out of school for is to have the sex talk, you could have left me in school!”
We parked close to the mall, because I hated going out having to look for my car.
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